Posted by: Tom Gaddis | April 24, 2009

Mogul Humor

In my next few entries I will be answering your questions about how the sabbatical is going. If you have any questions you have been waiting to ask me, now is the time. Just leave them in the “comment” section at the bottom of this entry.

My first question comes from my friend, Jim Beckett. Just before I left for this sabbatical Jim asked me, “Yep, one time our Assembly of God pastor left on a sabbatical and come back a Methodist. That’s not going to happen to you is it?”

No, Jim, but I have been thinking about becoming a Mogul. I’ve been reading how the Moguls under a guy named Baber (you probably remember him by his more common name Zahir ud-Din) conquered a good part of India in 1526.

These guys lived so well that today the name Mogul is synonymous with being a very rich and powerful person. So during this season away I’ve been using my time aspiring to Mogulness in the following ways:

  1. Reading–Several books are helping me in my climb to be a Mogul. The first is Living a Totally Self-Indulging and Excessive Lifestyle with Humility. Also another page-turner, with much practical advice, is Mogulism Made Easy, How to Rule Your Own Small Country.
  2. Meditating–There’s been much time to reflect on what to get Sue for our up and coming anniversary. I’ve narrowed the choice of a gift down to a leather Hermes Birkin hand bag (also known as a purse). The beginning price is $7,500.00. If I want crocodile (and I’m thinking they mean…like a live one) it is in the six-figure range. Some might say, “I’m bringin’ home the Birkin.”
  3. Writing–I’ve begun the first draft of my new book, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme–Seven steps to growing ever increasingly rich and decadent, but with sensitivity to others less rich.
  4. Home Projects–I’ve been arranging 100 pairs of Manolo Blahnik shoes. It’s amazing that Sue’s new Fringe Ankle Boots were only $1,165.00, although we now have to add 1,000 square feet to her closet. But no one ever said it would be cheap being extravagantly wealthy.
  5. Relationship Building–I’ve decided to give the small people in my life more access to me and so have hired a few to come regularly and trim my hair and give me a shave and pour my drinks for me.
  6. Exercising–Not much going here except walking our chow chow dog to the mailbox each day. I do hope to get serious about going regularly to the tanning salon.
  7. Resting–We’ve been having our feet rubbed in $1,000.00 Brazilian nut butter by two of our “foot handlers.” After we’re done, we’ll take a bath with milk imported from Nepal. They have the best milk for this, but the Yaks are said to really put up a fight.

And as you can see from this entry, I am resting–the sure signs of which for me are a returning of humor, a restoring of creativity, and a renewing of perspective. Life is good. Thanks for your prayers.

Tom

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Responses

  1. Glad to hear you are doing so well in being restored..but where’s the humor..:) Love you guys. Looking forward to camping.

  2. Hmmmm… you may need more air while on your sabbatical.:-) Glad to see the “ol’ Tom” is coming back.:-)
    -jer

  3. hey. where can get me and the wife some of them “foot handlers”? this is too fun. let’s do lunch… want to see you. can i be one of your “small people”? 🙂

    rich… i did become Methodist… geez…

  4. Sounds like life in all of it’s richness is bubbling back up inside you! Fun is the first part of FUNctional and that is what God is calling His children to. Being a Fun-ctual body!!!! hehe… love you both

  5. So can I have the small country when you keel over (you know, in 100 years or so)?

  6. So, youdo know of this Birkin and Manolo Blahnik?

    I have seriously underestimated you, padre’.

    ~ m


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