10 Signs That You are Too Old for Trick-or-Treating

I enjoy having my grandchildren come trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Restraining Tom from bothering the neighbors is a different story. I’ve come up with ten points to argue when he pulls out his pirate costume this year.

You know you are too old for trick-or-treating when:

1. The door opens and you say, “Trick or . . . ” and can’t remember the rest.
2. You have your granddaughter, Rilian, read the candy bar labels for you.
3. The police pick you up as a stray from the Alzheimer’s Board and Care Cottage.
4. You need a basket on your walker to carry your candy bag.
5. Your grandchildren don’t want to be seen on the same side of the street as you.
6. You’ve beat the neighbor’s dog with your cane because he stole your goodie bag.
7. You request high-fiber candy instead of a Mars bar.
8. You return home to the wrong house.
9. You want to keep the wig after Halloween is over because it reminds you of your hippie days.
10. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.